Fight the power

Where do I start? Is it me, or have people simply lost their mind? Have they been teaching empowerment classes in college, or are we victims of too much Dr. Phil and Oprah? I'm all for having a good sense of self, but must we think that the world owes us something 'cause were here? that we don't have to pay dues or be glad someone is taking the time to help us? WTF?

Helped someone out who wants to be a power-broker, dream-weaver, deal-maker. Doesn't have the first clue that she's being pimped. OK. So I'm leery, but put my faith in my friend who introduces me to her friend. Can I help her out? She has a great relationship with an outlet that you may want to get in bed with. Cool. All I need to do is coach her a little. OK. Maybe she'll be a quick study, and end of the day I have to seal the deal. Heffer never calls. Too busy having late dinners and runnin' around like she's arrived. Like she can cram last minute and ace the test. You ain't that bright. I haven't been impressed by anything you've said yet. Meanwhile she pressures me to get stuff to her so she can get her shine on. So finally we have a talk, I'm feeling like she hasn't even bothered to do any homework. Thinks because she has the hook up that she can just waltz in and seal the deal. Not happenin'. I'm already knowin'. Finally, I snap. Too old and too tired to be disrespected by some whipper snapper, and have my hard work disrespected and my soul misrepresented. Clearly she's offended. I semi apologize and wait on her follow up. No call. My friend hits me and asks if I was too hard on her. Maybe a little, but I am not going to apologize for being on top of my shit and expecting you to be too. Especially when you are going to profit from my work. Wow. I apologize. She calls me. I hit her back. She insinuates that I did owe her an apology and that she was doing me a favor. Only wants to work with people who are friends of friends and who like her!!! WTF??? I will only continue to be frustrated by her and frankly she's just not going to have anyone talk over her or raise their voice, question what she's doing. Wow. I chuckle. No worries I say. Then the phone goes dead. She calls me back. I refuse to answer. End of story. Then I was sad. Another fake busy person in the making. Another wannabe important person. Another time waster I had fallen prey to. And so young. HA! Then I thought long and hard. Maybe its me. I am not allowed to stand up for myself. I always have to be nice. Roll over and play dead. That's just wrong.


And what's with folks thinking because they have money they have a premium on brains? Buy a clue and get some sense! Folks for the most part are telling you what you want to hear, not what you need to. And me, stuck in the middle, getting it from all ends. Just trying to do what I was asked to do and some. Fell victim to some bitchassness. Where's Sir Diddy Puff when you need him? I don't even know where to end, let alone begin with this one! We feel threatened by you. You say what we wish we could but are too scared to be honest. You have too much energy and gumption, so we'll just try to kill that spirit a little for you. Throw you under the bus. Leave you out. Ignore you. Pretend you aren't in the room or conversation. In fact, we'll simply try our best to humiliate you at ever turn. WTF did I do to you? I'm not trying to be boss lady's best buddy, I just want to do what's best and move on. Not going to get in a pissin' match with a person who looks like she's two shakes in the wind (drunk for you young folks). I'll back off. Clearly you didn't think enough of my time and effort to call me and tell me that I wouldn't be making a trip I rescheduled my week for and made arrangements for a production crew to show up last minute only to have little ole two shakes in the wind tell me they could not accommodate the cameraman and I needed to plan these things out with her first before I made such plans because after all only she knows how to run things. Jeez Louise. Again. No worries. I got beat down and made to apologize for standing up for myself last time, so back off. Be humiliated. Let the woman think she got you. Damn, am I not watching enough Oprah and Dr. Phil? Do I need to go back to class and learn to speak up? Am I so stressed about getting paid that I'll put up with crap just to get paid for a crap load of great stuff you couldn't get this cheap? What have I become?

Maybe I did let them kill my spirit a little.